I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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