You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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