my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Found the puke drawer
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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