OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
