you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
