I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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