I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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