I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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