omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
