Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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