thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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