Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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