he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
