I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
