this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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