just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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