Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
