i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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