she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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