i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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