well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
