As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
