My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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