Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
