oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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