so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
