I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
