Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
