Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This house was built for laser tag.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
