you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Houston, we have a squirter
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
