once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
