we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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