Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
