so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
