Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
