Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I could fuck to npr.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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