wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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