I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize