He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
