but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
