turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
