the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
