i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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