You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Houston, we have a squirter
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
