Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize