I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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