Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
