id be glad to
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Farmville is her only friend.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
