Who did Billy Mays play for?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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