I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
