You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
