whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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