How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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