will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Shame is for Republicans.
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