Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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