It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
