I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it glows. i had to have it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just blew my weed a kiss
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
