she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
