i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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