oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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